I hope you enjoy listening to the last Christmas bit in Chapter 21 of The New Arrival. If you do read this post or listen to me reading the chapter please do let me know by liking, becoming a subscriber, commenting or sharing. It means a lot to writers to know when people connect with our work.
That’s my mum in the middle. Appleton in the pink was Sarah’s friend from her first day on the wards in Hackney. The day before my mum died I rang Appleton out of the blue crying, I was all on my own in a hospital side room and I felt so lost. She immediately drove from the other side of London with her daughter to be with Sarah. It was so kind, and I felt with her there I could go home to check on my young children.
It was the day before Lyra’s third birthday, and the last thing my mum ever said to me was, “You go home to the girls. You make sure Lyra has her party.” I know it looked like a mad thing to do, but that was my mum’s last gift to us. I was back with her the next day straight after the party. In true Hill style, she hung until after midnight. I knew she was making sure that she didn’t die on her granddaughter’s birthday. You see Lyra was born in 2020. Her first and second birthdays were consequentially just us, she didn’t get a party. After 12 o’clock, I said to her, “It’s not Lyra’s birthday anymore, Mum. You’ve done so well. No-one could have better. We love you. You can go now,” and she did. In one beautiful peaceful exhale. She was a true nurse, thinking of others, right to her last breath.
Also in this chapter is Lynch, who was one of my mum’s best friend’s. Lynch was a theatre nurse until she died in the Spring of 2020. We’d met for a Christmas lunch with Appleton and Lynch and her family at Fortnum and Mason’s Christmas 2019, when I was pregnant and optimistic with no clue of what lay ahead. It was the last time they were all together, and I’m so glad they made it happen.
I’m feeling a bit all over the place as it’s my second Christmas without mum. Christmas is like an anchor in our lives, it’s when time stops for a little while, and for some years we gather with the people we love. There’s so much pressure to create the perfect Christmas. I was surprised when Sarah told me it was one of her best ever Christmas’s at Hackney in 1971, and I think that’s because of the people. Of the generosity of spirit, and momentarily lapse of ordinary time. I wish you a Merry Christmas. If like me you get waves of tears out of nowhere, please don’t be hard on yourself. Enjoy small moments.
I have appreciated every card, gift and message I’ve had, so much more than before. I remember last year I’d never had so many text messages on Christmas Day. They were from people saying how much they were missing Sarah, because she was like a good fairy, sprinkling love, and magic where ever she went. I feel so fortunate that as writers we get to relive these moments, to revisit them, to take them out the box with the baubles and the tinsel and feel the connection with the people we love. Christmas does mean something. The Solstice means something to me. It’s our time to reflect. My inner critic tells me off all the time about spending money on this, or failing to do that, but when I look back on past Christmas’s I never regret a thing. I hope I can remember that next time I feel lonely, or sad, or like I’m not enough, that it’s just a passing feeling, and when it comes down to it, what matters, is love, actually.
Love A x
P.S. You if you like this please do ❤️ and leave me a comment to let know what it brought up for you?
Christmas Stories and Community
You know that feeling of I was supposed to be doing something else today, when out of nowhere you’re compelled to do the unexpected? That’s this post. I had the privilege of listening to amazing Substack writers read their work at a very special Christmas event organised by
If you missed Christmas Stories Episode 1 you can listen here.
Like to read more?
If you’d like to read any of my published books then please consider buying from my online bookshop. The New Arrival, Our Country Nurse and Happy Baby, Happy Family. To find out more about my life as Head of Storytelling visit Wordsby Communications.
West London Meet Up For Writers January 2025
“I can’t think of anyone more welcoming to writers and creatives than Amy Beeson…pop along if you can.”
You’re invited to the next Substack Writers Meet Up in West London on Saturday 13 January 2025.
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